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Jul. 11th, 2005 | 05:39 pm
music: deafening silence.
today has been the saddest day of my life. before i get to the heart of the matter, allow me give you a little backstory. recently i purchased the directv HDTV receiver with tivo for a whopping $700. i'll admit, it was worth any price. the receiver itself is pretty bad ass, and the picture quality of directv just blows cable away. at first, i had no complaints with my tivo, as it was a big step up over my previous tivo, which didn't receive HDTV signal. you see, my last tivo had this strange habit of recording HBO Latino, telemundo, univision, basically anything in spanish. i found it odd, as i didn't have any spanish broadcasts set up in my season passes, nor did i really watch much of anything with a latino flair outside of CSI Miami, and horatio cane is about as mexican as taco bell. i tried to fight it. any time i noticed a spanish broadcast i'd give it 3 thumbs down. it still wouldn't stop. so i wind up purchasing this new receiver i had been lusting over. the price dropped from 1000 to 700 and i had to get it immediately. i set up most of the same season passes as i had before. luckily, this one didn't seem to have any latin love. no hbo latino. no soccer games. in fact nothing but english broadcasts. then, a new nightmare slowly began. randomly my tivo would start recording various shows on it's own, most of which were in line with the type of stuff i usually watch. sports. history and crime shit. lots of mechanical and engineering shows. pretty manly shit, right? so bit by bit the tivo starts recording surprise by design. trading places. random shit on hgtv. i'm a little puzzled. this continues, week by week my tivo is gaining more audacity, as it starts recording these things in mass quantities. today, i come home from work, sit down on the couch, and turn on my tv so that i can watch around the horn and pardon the interruption (sports related shows on espn) as i wind down from work, and then i see it. my tivo has come out of the closet. it recorded the vagina monologues. i guess i should have seen the signs. this shouldn't come to me as such a shock. my tivo is en fuego. i mean liberace gay. and now that i compare these happenings with my last tivo, i've discovered that tivo's have their own personalities. it's AI gone insane. i guess i really don't have a choice buy to accept it. i'm debating trying to find my local chapter of pflag so i don't have to feel so alone. i want my tivo to know i still love it anyway. any comments would be a great help.